A Feeling For Murder
by Janet2
Summary: Amanda is injured and becomes acutely attuned to the feelings of others. NOTE: this story contains the death of a recurring character. (This is one of my earliest stories)


A Feeling for Murder  
  
By Janet Rampley  
  
Summary: Amanda lands in hospital after a fall. She becomes empathic to the feelings of those close to her. Note: this story contains the death of a recurring character.  
  
All the characters associated with Diagnosis Murder belong to their creators and remain their property. No money is being made from this story, it is written for entertainment purposes only.  
  
1  
  
"CJ!" called Amanda as she walked along the passageway leading from her bedroom. " How many times have I told you to pick up your toys? One day someone is ………………"  
  
Amanda never got to the end of her sentence, her left foot came down and instead of touching the floor as she'd expected, it landed on CJ's bright red fire truck, a present from Uncle Steve. The wheels of the truck began turning and as it gained momentum Amanda lost her balance , arms flailing wildly in a vain attempt to grab hold of something solid, she fell headlong down the stairs.  
  
CJ, Amanda's four year old son, heard the noise made by his mother's fall and came out of his bedroom.  
  
"Mummy?" he called . When no answer was forthcoming, he walked along the passageway and stopped at the top of the stairs. Looking down, he saw his mother laying in a crumpled heap at the bottom. Holding carefully onto the railing he walked slowly down, for Amanda had taught him never to run, and knelt down next to her.  
  
'Mummy?' CJ gently shook Amanda's shoulder. When he received no answer he looked around him and saw the telephone on the hall table. Most children would have panicked at seeing their mother unconscious on the floor. CJ, even at the tender age of four, was not like most children. Amanda, with the help of Mark, Steve and Jesse, had taught CJ when and how to summon help. They had made a game of it so , although CJ was aware that mummy needed help, he did not fully understand the danger. He stood up and moved across to the phone, picked up the receiver and dialled one of the numbers that he had been taught.  
  
At the precinct house where he worked, Lt. Steve Sloan was sitting at his desk almost disappearing under the mounting pile of paperwork in front of him. Steve was a fine police officer with good instincts but, like all good street cops, his view of the paperwork involved left a lot to be desired. The phone next to him rang and, grateful for the interruption, he picked it up.  
  
His face lit up as he heard CJ's voice, "Hi CJ, how are you?" CJ's answer instantly wiped the smile from his face.  
  
Continuing to talk to CJ to keep him calm, Steve wrote quickly on the pad in front of him and beckoned to a colleague. The note read ' Get an ambulance to 555, Wisteria Blvd. Woman unconscious after fall. Ring my dad at Community General . Tell him Amanda is injured and on her way in'.  
  
Steve kept up a flow of conversation with CJ until he heard the boy say, " I can hear a siren Uncle Steve."  
  
"Okay CJ, go and open the door for them," Steve instructed him.  
  
CJ complied and after having spoken to the ambulance crew, Steve rushed across to the hospital to be there when the ambulance arrived. He made it in time to tell Mark and Jesse, who were both waiting in the ER, what he had gleaned from CJ. Steve had just finished talking when all three men heard the wailing of the ambulance siren getting louder. Steve raced outside to get CJ whilst Amanda was wheeled into the ER. Jesse directed the gurney into trauma 1 and he and Mark followed closely on its heels.  
  
Amanda remained unconscious and after doing all the normal routine checks, Mark ordered her to be taken upstairs for a CAT scan to make sure that there was no internal bleeding. Whilst waiting for the results Mark admitted her.  
  
Later that evening Mark was on the phone with Steve who had taken CJ back to their house, "How's CJ doing son?"  
  
"He's fine dad. He been asking about Amanda, but I've just told him that mummy has hurt her head and she needs to sleep for a while".  
  
"Good idea, there's no need to worry him," Mark replied, "We'll give it a couple of days and if nothing changes then we'll have to contact Colin".  
  
"Yeah, I suppose so", Steve said reluctantly. He had only met Colin a few times, but he hadn't taken to him.  
  
Amanda stood looking at Jesse. On the outside he was exactly the same as usual. Chirpy, laughing and joking. The trouble was that he wasn't feeling like that and Amanda knew it -----just by looking at him. She couldn't actually hear his thoughts, but she could sense he was not content. Whoa! What caused that? A wave of unhappiness flowed through Jesse. Amanda followed his eyes and saw that he was looking at Susan. Susan? They were happy, weren't they? Well………..Maybe not..  
  
The nurse at her duty station looked at the monitor from Amanda's room and what she saw had her hand automatically reaching for the phone, "Call Dr. Sloan to Dr. Bentley's room at once!"  
  
By the time Mark and Jesse arrived there was nothing to see on the screen. Mark looked at the nurse expectantly, "Dr. Sloan, when I looked at the monitor a few minutes ago Dr. Bentley's heart rate and BP were through the roof. If I didn't know better I'd say she was having an anxiety attack!"  
  
Mark looked at the print-out of those few seconds and whistled. "It 's possible that somewhere in Amanda's brain she is reliving the accident, but I wouldn't have expected that to have caused that strong a reaction".  
  
He and Jesse went into Amanda's room and looked down at her. She really did look like she was asleep. As they watched, Amanda's features changed.. It was as if she had suddenly been plunged into the middle of a terrifying nightmare.  
  
Amanda looked at Mark. Suddenly he looked old. No, that was wrong. He felt  
  
old. At least that was the impression that Amanda was getting. Old, out of date, useless. Mark looked at Jesse, who was standing next to him. Amanda was shocked to feel something akin to envy and fear emanating from deep inside Mark.  
  
"Dr. Sloan", the nurse called, "It's happening again!"  
  
Mark and Jesse rushed back to the monitor at the nurses station and were shocked to see Amanda's heart rate rise to 95 beats per minute and her BP to skyrocket. However, as they watched both readings gradually decreased until they were back to normal. Jesse shook his head, "What on earth is going on here Mark?"  
  
"Jesse, I'm not sure", Mark confessed, shaking his head, "Nurse keep a close eye on those monitors and call me if there are any more incidents". Leaning across the counter of the nurse's station, picked up the phone and dialled home.  
  
At the beach house the phone rang and Steve rushed to pick it up, having just got CJ to go to sleep, "Who is it?" he whispered.  
  
"Steve, it's dad. I just wanted to let you know that I'm staying at the hospital overnight to keep a close eye on Amanda."  
  
"Why, has her condition deteriorated?" Steve was really concerned.  
  
"No, but she has had some unusual reactions and I want to be close by, just in case," Mark said, "Can you deal with CJ?"  
  
"Sure dad. He's asleep on my bed and I'll sleep on the couch tonight. Look, I've got to go, I  
  
need to tuck him in properly. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
Fortunately for Mark and Jesse's legs , if not their peace of mind, Amanda's vitals remained stable for the rest of the night.  
  
Next morning found Mark is a familiar pose, sound asleep in an easy chair next to a hospital bed. The only odd thing was that it wasn't Steve in the bed next to him , but Amanda. Mark was dreaming and in his dream he was listening to Amanda. She was telling him whilst chronologically he might be classed as old, his was the brain, the intelligence and the enthusiasm of a man thirty years younger and that he still had much to offer Community General.  
  
'Mark, Mark ', the voice calling his name was softly insistent. He opened his eyes to see Amanda looking at him.  
  
He jumped up and went across to her bed, 'Amanda, how are you feeling?'  
  
'Like I fell down the stairs and hit my head', she replied.  
  
'Is that what happened?' Mark asked  
  
'Yeah, I fell over that rotten fire truck Steve bought for CJ', she said with a hint of her usual humour. She frowned suddenly.  
  
'Amanda, are you alright,' Mark was concerned.' Are you in any pain?'  
  
Amanda was silent for a few seconds and then she looked up at Mark,  
  
'I'm alright Mark, apart from a headache. What about you? Mark, I have just  
  
had the strongest sensation from you that you suddenly see yourself as old'.  
  
Mark was stunned. Mainly because that was exactly how he had been feeling. For weeks now he had been looking around him and everywhere he looked there were these incredibly young, energetic people. The odd thing was that there was no-one new at Community General, it was more how his impression of himself had changed. He looked searchingly at Amanda and said, "What made you say that? I didn't think that it was obvious to anyone."  
  
"I don't know Mark. I had this dream while I was unconscious. I saw you and got the impression that you are feeling old and envious of Jesse. I'm a little frightened Mark, I have never experienced anything like this before."  
  
"I wouldn't worry about it Amanda. When people are as close as we are, they can sometimes sense how the other person is feeling."  
  
Amanda wasn't convinced. As close as she was to Mark, there was one person who was even closer. That was Steve and there was no way he would have kept quiet. He most probably have spoken to her or Jesse, he would most certainly have spoken to Mark. She laid a hand on Marks arm, "You're not old you know. You still have so much energy, enthusiasm and there is so much you have to teach us all. Don't even think about retiring yet."  
  
Mark smiled distractedly. It was sweet of Amanda to say all of that, but it was not how he was feeling. It was also very odd how Amanda was able to pick up on that. It didn't help that he was worrying about Steve as well. He had not seemed his usual self lately either. Maybe it was the time of year, they had both always hated January since Mark's wife and Steve's mother had died in that month.  
  
"I'd better get off home now and clean up," Mark said as he leant down to kiss Amanda's forehead, "I'll get Steve to bring CJ in for a little while later. Meanwhile, get some rest."  
  
Amanda closed her eyes and was soon in a natural sleep from which she awakened a few hours later feeling much more like her normal self.  
  
'That's a relief ,' she thought, "That was really weird earlier on, being able to sense how Mark was feeling, I'm glad that's gone."  
  
The door opened and a face she hadn't expected to see for at least another week peered round the corner.  
  
"Ron," she cried, "Oh it's good to see you."  
  
"Amanda," Ron strode over to the bed and hugged Amanda as best her could, "What have you managed to do to yourself? I get back a week early only to find you in a hospital bed."  
  
"I fell down the stairs at home." Amanda told him.  
  
"Have you seen Mark?" Amanda queried.  
  
"No, should I? Is there anything wrong?"  
  
"No, it's just that I had the strongest sensation earlier on that Mark was not feeling right and I wondered if you had seen him, whether or not you sensed anything."  
  
"Sensed anything? Have you become part Betazoid since I left?" Ron joked.  
  
"It's not funny Ron. It was an incredibly strong sensation. It's gone now, because I don't sense anything from you."  
  
Ron grinned, " That's only because you're stuck in a hospital bed and I don't take advantage of a sick woman."  
  
Amanda laughed and then winced as the laughter made her head hurt.  
  
Ron didn't stay very long as Amanda was still very tired. He left her with a kiss and a promise to return later. Amanda ate her lunch, well picked at it actually. Although that had less to do with her appetite and everything to do with the food. Hospital food was horrible. She wished that Steve were there, he would have polished it off. He seemed to have a cast iron constitution where the hospital cuisine was concerned. Although, Amanda chuckled to herself, he had had more opportunity over the years to get used to it. The door to her room opened and the object of her thoughts came in, bringing with him a very excited CJ who ran across the room and would have jumped on his mother had Steve not held him back.  
  
"Mummy," CJ cried , "are you feeling better?"  
  
"A little honey," said Amanda as she cradled her son in her arms, "I still have to stay here for a few days. Can he stay with you and Mark, Steve?"  
  
"No problem Amanda," Steve was happy to look after the lad. He was very fond of him and, he hoped, it might help take his mind of his problems.  
  
Again feelings flowed into Amanda's mind. She had the strongest sensation that Steve, like Mark & Jesse, was deeply unhappy. No, unhappy was the wrong word. Ambivalence was the truth, but about what she couldn't tell. She felt that Steve was trying to come to a decision and finding it very hard.  
  
Amanda looked up at Steve and said, "What's the matter Steve? You are unhappy aren't you?"  
  
Although his face registered surprise, there was no way that tough old Steve Sloan was going to admit that Amanda had hit the nail right on the head. "I'm fine," was all he'd say in reply.  
  
"No, Steve. You're not," Amanda countered, "You're trying to come to a decision and you're not finding it very easy are you?"  
  
This time the uncanny accuracy of Amanda's statement surprised an honest response out of Steve, "How did you know that?"  
  
"Steve, it's weird. Frightening actually. I can sense all your feelings. Not thoughts, just images of feelings," she paused, "What are you trying to decide?"  
  
Steve was blunt, "Whether or not to stay on the force."  
  
It was Amanda's turn to be shocked, "Steve, the force is your life! What's gone wrong?"  
  
" I don't know Amanda. I'm just feeling really unsettled at the moment and I'm not sure which way to go. Whether to leave the force or look for a new challenge within the force."  
  
Their conversation ground to a halt as CJ, unsure about the tense tone of the conversation going on over his head, made his presence felt by sitting bolt upright and demanding "I want ice cream!"  
  
Both Steve and Amanda laughed. "I'll take him down the hall for a while Amanda and see you later," leaning down he kissed Amanda's face, "I'm glad you're feeling better."  
  
After Steve had gone, Amanda lay back on her bed and tried to make sense of what was happening to her. She was confused about a couple of things. Firstly, why had she not been able to sense anything from Ron when he came to see her? She was in love with him, so surely they would be more in tune that she and Steve. Secondly, Steve had obviously been unhappy for sometime, so why did she only feel his pain now, when he was in the same room. Same room! That could be the answer. No hang on, she had had feelings about Jesse and yet she hadn't seen him since she had woken up. After a long while of going round in circles, Amanda's brain finally gave up and she slept .  
  
Again Amanda found herself standing next to Jesse. His expression, this time, was one of utter dejection. She looked closer and saw that he seemed to be holding a huge weight and on it was written the word 'Susan'.  
  
When she woke up, much later, the light had faded and he room was in semi darkness. She leant across to turn her light and almost leapt out of bed when she saw a shadowy figure sitting in the chair next to her. She let out a small gasp,  
  
"Amanda," said the voice reassuringly, " It's me, Jesse.£  
  
Amanda sat up, brushing her hair out of her eyes.  
  
"What on earth are you doing sitting here in the dark Jesse?"  
  
He sighed , "I needed a quiet place to think."  
  
"About Susan?" she queried.  
  
Jesse started, "How did you do that !"  
  
"I've just had what feels like a dream but it wasn't. It was more than that. I was standing next to you. You were holding a really heavy weight and it had Susan's name written on it."  
  
"Whoa Amanda," Jesse was stunned," That is exactly how I've been feeling lately. I don't know how I feel about Susan anymore. I don't feel happy and I'm not sure where our relationship is headed and yes, it does feel like I'm carrying a heavy weight. I don't know what to do."  
  
"The only thing that I can suggest is that you talk to Susan about you feel. Every relationship goes through patches like that, I know mine did with Colin."  
  
"That's not the best example to use Amanda," pointed out Jesse, " you divorced Colin."  
  
"True," Amanda acknowledged with a wry grin " but not until we had talked everything through."  
  
"Okay , thanks Amanda. Talking to you has helped sort my mind out."  
  
***************  
  
Ron whistled cheerfully as he walked into Community General the next day with a large bunch of flowers in his arms. He was home, Amanda was going to be okay and the weather was beautiful. As he waited for the lift doors to open, he thought about the time that he had spent away from Amanda and how much he'd missed her. The lift doors opened and a tall man in operating blues stepped out. He bumped into Ron on the way past and, looking up, he murmured an apology. In the fleeting moments during which their eyes met Ron was conscious of a glimmer of recognition. Carrying on into the lift Ron spent some time with Amanda, but he couldn't get the mans face out of his mind. He knew him from somewhere but he couldn't figure out where.  
  
Recognition nagged at the back of Ron's mind on the way home and , on an impulse, he turned his car in the direction of the FBI offices downtown. Hours later he sat back in his chair and rubbed his hands across tired eyes. He had finally found the face from the lift and he wished he hadn't. It was from a now inactive file and it was only through luck and determination that he had found it. The face belonged to a man responsible for the deaths of a dozen women in the LA area 6 years previously. It had taken a while for the link between the killings to become clear. All the women were nurses, had blonde hair and were between 25 and 30. To this day, no-one was any the wiser as to why.  
  
Ron picked up the phone and rang the Sloan beach use, hoping to catch either Steve or Mark at home.  
  
"Sloan here," Steve answered the phone listening to the voice at the other end, whilst attempting to hold a wriggling, giggling CJ still. Suddenly there was something in Steve's manner that caused him to stop squirming. Steve put CJ down and said, "I'll be there right away. I'll drop CJ off at the sitters, I know she's in."  
  
Twenty minutes later Steve and Ron were in the 3rd floor doctors lounge with Mark and Jesse discussing the situation.  
  
"So no-one ever found out why this guy was killing all these nurses?" asked Mark , "What was his name again?"  
  
"Matthews, Jonathan Matthews," replied Ron.  
  
"Why did they stop looking for him?" Steve wanted to know.  
  
"Because they thought that they'd found him. He burnt to a crisp in a shack with his final victim. Or so we thought. Everything was in ashes and the only thing that could be used to identify the body was a ring that we knew he wore."  
  
"So, he's been quiet for 6 years. Why surface now?" Jesse sounded puzzled.  
  
"That's what we need to find out." said Ron, showing them a photo of Matthews to see if they recognised him. No-one did. "He was wearing operating blues when I saw him, could he be on staff here?"  
  
"It's always possible," said Mark , "Jesse, can you take this up to personnel to see if it can be matched to a file."  
  
"I'm on it," replied Jesse.  
  
They all left, Mark and Steve making their way to Amanda's room whilst Ron decided to go back to the FBI building and do some more research. As Mark and Steve approached Amanda's room the door it opened and Susan came out.  
  
"Hello Susan," greeted Mark, "how's Amanda?"  
  
"She's fine. I've just done her obs and they are all normal."  
  
"Thanks," said Mark, "See you later."  
  
Both men entered the room and greeted Amanda.  
  
"Hi guys," she replied, her next words showing the most important thing on her mind, "Mark, when can I go home?"  
  
Mark was looking at Amanda's chart, but at her question he looked up and said, "Tomorrow……………….maybe. We'll see how you go overnight."  
  
Worry. Concern. Uncertainty. Those were the very strong feelings emanating from the Sloan men. Odd, but it wasn't for themselves.  
  
Amanda looked up at them, " What's up? You both worrying about something aren't you and it's not your problems is it? It's something else."  
  
Mark and Steve looked at Amanda. Neither of them had spoken to the other about Amanda's 'feelings'.  
  
"There is something," Steve admitted, "but I promise you it's nothing for you to worry about."  
  
At any other time, Amanda would have bristled at the 'little woman' tone in Steve's voice, but she sensed that it would have been no use now. Realising what he'd done, Steve began to tell Amanda about the things that he and CJ had been getting up to during the day.  
  
Having left the lounge with Jesse, Ron separated from him at the lift. Jesse went up to admin, whilst Ron waited for a lift to take him down. Just as the lift door opened Ron saw, in his peripheral vision, the face of Jonathan Matthews walking past him along the corridor. Ignoring the open lift doors Ron turned and followed Matthews. He seemed to be wandering aimlessly, looking around him, searching for something, when he suddenly turned into an empty room and closed the door behind him.  
  
Ron crept over, grasped the handle and slowly opened the door and stepped inside. The room was dark and it took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Unfortunately, those few seconds were all it took for a hand to come swinging down and catch Ron sharply on the back of his neck. He collapsed in a heap and was dragged into the room  
  
Pain. Fear . Darkness.  
  
Amanda gasped and her hands went involuntarily to the back of her neck. Mark and Steve were by her side in seconds.  
  
"Amanda, honey what's the matter." Mark was concerned.  
  
"I felt a sharp pain on the back of my neck."  
  
"That could be due to the accident Amanda, any sudden movement will trigger that." Mark said.  
  
"No, you don't understand," Amanda was anxious, "It wasn't my pain, but someone else's."  
  
"It happened again?" Mark and Steve spoke in unison.  
  
Steve looked at his father.  
  
"Later," Mark said at Steve's unspoken question.  
  
"Who was it Amanda?" Steve queried.  
  
"I couldn't tell for sure, but it must be Jesse because, apart from you two, he's the only one whose feelings I've sensed."  
  
At that moment, Jesse walked into the room.  
  
"Jesse, you're OK!" Amanda was relieved.  
  
"Of course I am, why are you so concerned?" asked Jesse.  
  
Steve answered, "Amanda felt someone being hurt."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"I don't know!" Amanda almost shouted in her frustration.  
  
Ron moved and groaned as his neck protested at the movement he made. Walking past the room Susan heard the groan and, knowing the room should be empty, opened the door and entered. Like Ron, she didn't see the hand that hit her. Unlike Ron, it didn't knock her out. She was sent sprawling across the room and caught her shoulder on one of the metal legs. Susan cried out in pain and scrambled to her feet. She saw a shadowy figure rushing towards her and all she felt was his hands around her neck. For a few seconds Susan was paralysed with fear, then she began to fight. Her hands came up, clawing desperately at those around her throat. It was useless , the hands got tighter and tighter and breathing became harder.  
  
Amanda felt those hands around her throat. She couldn't breathe! The hands tightened and she began to feel faint.  
  
Mark was saying "So it's only me, Steve and J……..,"but got no further . Amanda swayed backwards against her pillows , her eyes rolling up in her head.  
  
"Amanda, what's the matter?" he rushed to her side.  
  
"I can't breathe," she gasped, "Someone is being strangled."  
  
At this, Steve and Mark realised that, once more, Amanda was experiencing someone else's pain.  
  
"Can you tell who it is Amanda?" Steve asked, "Where is it happening?"  
  
"Don't know."  
  
The fear was increasing in it's intensity. It was weird, but she could feel the hands around her throat. The roughness of the skin, the force of the fingers as they slowly increased their pressure. What was that? An aroma! What was it? Antiseptic. She'd never smelt anything before, why now? It's here, in the hospital.  
  
Amanda managed to cry out , "Hospital, in the hospital."  
  
"It's in the hospital Steve," said Mark urgently, "call security."  
  
Steve dashed out of the room whilst Mark stayed with Amanda.  
  
Susan could feel consciousness slipping away from her. Her ears were pounding and her head was throbbing. It felt like her head was about to burst. Her arms began to feel very heavy and her hands fell away from those at her throat. Her last thought before the darkness of death overcame her was for Jesse. The hands around her throat let go and the lifeless body of Susan Hillyard slumped to the floor. Matthews stepped over the body towards the still unconscious figure of Ron Wagner. A shout outside the room stopped him in his tracks.  
  
"Search everywhere!" it was the voice of Lt. Steve Sloan.  
  
Matthews turned, crossed the room and slowly opened the door. There was a frenzy of activity in the corridor making it easy for him to slip out and make his way to the nearest stairwell.  
  
Fear. Pounding Blood. Fear. Fast advancing blackness. JESSE! Then…………  
  
Nothing.  
  
Amanda moaned, passed out and slumped back against her pillows. Mark jumped up and felt for a pulse and checked her breathing. When he had satisfied himself that all was well, he turned Amanda onto her side to allow her to recover.  
  
Ron groaned as he finally shrugged off the fog that was surrounding him. Movement was agony. He slowly got to his feet, stumbled a few steps and then found himself on his knees as he tripped over something on the floor. Turning round Ron was shocked to see the face of Susan Hillyard. She was dead, Ron was sure of that. He had seen enough corpses in his time to know that he was looking at another one. Putting aside his personal shock, he gingerly made his way to the door, opened it and fell into the corridor, right at Jesses feet. With a cry of surprise Jesse bent down and turned his friend over, "Ron, what's happened?"  
  
Even in his weakened state Ron knew that Jesse ought not to go into the room behind him, not yet. Unfortunately for him the door had not swung shut behind him and Jesse, looking up, saw Susan on the floor. He darted into the room with a cry of , "Susan!"  
  
"Jesse wait," Ron tried to call him back but he was too late.  
  
"Susan!" Jesses cry could be heard all the way along the corridor and for the first time in his life he passed out cold.  
  
Much later Jesse came to in a side ward where he had been carried on Marks instructions. He had a few blessed seconds of amnesia before the memory of Susan's lifeless form rudely thrust itself upon his consciousness. His sound of distress alerted Mark to his being awake and he was at Jesses side within a second.  
  
Jesse put his hand on Mark's arm, "Susan?" he questioned, hoping against hope that it had all been a terrible nightmare.  
  
Mark shook his head and there were tears in his eyes , "I'm sorry Jesse, there was nothing we could do. We were too late."  
  
Despite his distress, Jesse still managed to think of his friends, "Ron, Steve?"  
  
"Ron's being looked after and Steve is searching the hospital looking for Matthews," Mark answered.  
  
"It was Matthews?"  
  
"Yes. Ron followed him into the room and was knocked out. We don't know why Susan was there."  
  
At the mention of Susan's name tears welled up in Jesses eyes and rolled unchecked down his face. He buried his head in Marks white coat and sobbed. Mark just put his arms around Jesse and let him cry.  
  
*************  
  
Ron was resting in the room he was sharing with Amanda. At her insistence he had been put there with her. On coming to her senses Amanda had been shocked and horrified to be told that the person she had been sensing was Susan and that she was dead. Steve had gently asked her some questions, but there was nothing she could add that was helpful. At least when Ron was brought in, she had someone else to think about.  
  
Mark, once again, found himself sitting next to a hospital bed. He looked at the small, blond figure next to him. Jesse was asleep having been given a sedative. In that sleep he had the look of an innocent child. An innocence that would be lost the second he woke up and remembered.  
  
Steve had spent the night leading a team of officers and hospital security guards searching the hospital from top to bottom. There was no sign of Matthews. Steve hadn't really expected there to be but, as always, when a friend or loved one was involved Steve was like a man possessed. He arranged for Matthews photo to be circulated around the city in the hopes that somewhere he would be spotted and picked up.  
  
It had been a long night for the four of the five friends who were awake. Steve searched, Mark sat his beside vigil , Ron and Amanda comforted each other. Through it all they had two people uppermost in their thoughts. Susan, who they were never to be able to talk to again and Jesse. They all knew that Jesse would need a lot of love and support in the weeks and months to come. It was a task they were all happy and willing to take on. The only one for whom the night passed almost unnoticed was Jesse, thanks to the sedatives he had been given.  
  
Two weeks later  
  
Mark, Steve, Amanda, Ron and Jesse were all seated around on the deck of the Sloan beach house. They had just returned from Susan's funeral. It had been a sad and yet, strangely, uplifting experience. All the wonderful things that they had heard made all five realise what a special person Susan had been and how lucky they had been to know her.  
  
Steve was the first to break the silence, "At least we know that Matthews can never kill again. It's just a shame that he chose to fight his way out , now we'll never know why he killed all those nurses."  
  
"Do you think Susan was part of the pattern?" Amanda asked  
  
" No," Steve replied, "I think she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."  
  
"I still feel guilty," Jesse said, to no-one in particular.  
  
"Why?" asked Mark.  
  
"Because we'd been having problems and I was thinking of ending our relationship."  
  
"Jesse every relationship has its problems. You may or may not have worked it out with Susan, that's something we will never know," Mark said gently, "What I do know is that how you were feeling had nothing to do with what happened to Susan. That was down to Matthews."  
  
"I guess so," acknowledged Jesse reluctantly, "but it's hard to be objective, when it's your girlfriend who's been murdered."  
  
Steve reached across and squeezed Jesses arm . Of all those present he knew first hand the pain and misery of losing someone close in violent circumstances.  
  
"It'll get better Jess," he said, "Just hang in there. You know we're all here for you."  
  
Amanda sat up in her chair giving voice to her thoughts about the events of that night.  
  
"I still don't understand what happened to me that day. I could feel you Jesse, and you Mark, Steve, but I didn't feel Ron. I'm confused."  
  
By this time everyone was aware of what had happened to Amanda and what she had been feeling.  
  
Mark sat forward, "I've been thinking a lot about that in the last two weeks. I don't know why it happened and I don't think we ever will. Correct me if I'm wrong Amanda, but everything you were picking up on was negative, right?"  
  
Amanda nodded.  
  
Mark turned to Ron, "How were you feeling at that time?"  
  
"I was feeling fine. The job is going well and I was pleased to be back. All positive."  
  
Amanda jumped in, "The three of you were feeling negative and because Ron was happy, I had nothing to pick up on." She turned to Steve, "How are you feeling now?"  
  
For a while Steve sat in silence, he was not given to sharing in a group of people, he found it hard. Finally he spoke, "I feel better. I think. I've decided to stick with the force but perhaps look for a new challenge, new options."  
  
"New options?" Mark was intrigued.  
  
"Yeah. Perhaps go into training or work with the youth units. I've got lots of experience to share."  
  
Amanda turned to Mark, she was not going to let go easily, "What about you? Still thinking of retiring?"  
  
Steve and Jesse looked up. This was something they had not heard.  
  
"No Amanda. I'm staying. You were right, there is still a place for me. In fact, I've still got a lot to learn."  
  
He stood and went inside, emerging a few minutes later with a tray of glasses filled with champagne. He handed them out and said, "I would like to propose a toast. I know champagne is usually for a celebration and today is a sad occasion. However, we need to celebrate Susan's life and the impact she has had on our lives. She enriched our lives with her joy and laughter. Let us also not forget the friendship we have here today. We will honour Susan's life and memory by valuing that friendship and never taking it for granted."  
  
He raised his glass, "Susan."  
  
Ron, Steve, Amanda and Jesse all stood, "Susan."  
  
  
  
THE END 


End file.
